Super Mario Dogma
by Mad Kamek
Summary: Now accepting reviews. I didn't feel the story was going anywhere it's dead to me. I'd like to know your opinion, though.
1. Long Live the King

Chapter One:

Long Live the King

Long before the birth of my lord, Bowser, his father, Bronx Koopa, ruled the Clan. He was a terrific sight to behold: His shell was black and his scales were of a darker tint than his son's, he always wore a silver helmet that allowed his hair to escape through the top, and the hair itself crowned his head with a fiery Mohawk. His bravery and prowess on the battlefield earned him the respect of his people and the fear of his enemies, so he was given an equally respectable/terrifying name: the _Black Dragon_. He also possessed a few traits lacking in his son: honor, commitment, and generosity, to name a few…

Ruling at his side was Nagiana, his loving wife. Her shell was a dazzling blue, her hair was a cascading fall of violet, and her eyes were rubies… Like Bronx, she was quite compassionate to those of poor fortune. Unlike her husband, however, she gravely despised war; whenever Bronx began discussing military strategy, she'd occupy her full attention with her children. There were two of them: Boom-Boom, a strapping young lad with a brown shell, unusually-muscular arms for his age, and a fourth birthday only a week away—and Bowser, who hadn't even hatched from his egg.

Age 15 at the time, I was still very naïve, yet my (please don't mind my bragging) prodigal talent with magic made me Chief Magikoopa – the youngest one to date, I might add. I wore the traditional blue-robe-and-hat uniform, and I had my glasses then, too. On that last exam I took, I had an accident which crippled my sight, hence the glasses… Oh, I'm rambling again. Let me get back to where we were.

It was that night—with Prince Boom-Boom's birthday a week off and Bowser's hatching at hand—that I was summoned to the throne room. The moon shown through the windows—us Koopas had not been banished to Dark World yet—and Nagiana stared sorrowfully at it. You see, the second war between the Koopa Clan and the Mushroom Kingdom (known then as the Mushroom Tribe) was well under way, and unlike the first, this one had taken a turn for the worse. The Mushroom forces had penetrated all the way to the Keep, and they were attempting to break down the drawbridge at this point. Bronx had grown frail over the years and Nagiana was never in any condition to fight.

He beckoned that I approached him, and I did so. He smiled to me and said, "It's good to see you, Kid." He then sighed, and continued heavy-heartedly. "You know we are going to lose, don't ya? This is our last stand." Bronx glanced over to Nagiana, his gaze returned to me, and commanded, "You, Kamek Koopa, will not engage the enemy."

"But _Sire_!" I began to object.

Bronx raised his hand and I reluctantly fell silent. _What is he, mad? _I thought to myself at the time. _He's in no condition to fight, and besides, I got all this youth and power going for me. Why, I could turn the tide of this whole thing! I know I could!_

My bitter thoughts were silenced as Bronx began to speak once more. "I need someone to look after Nagiana and my sons when this is all said and done. Now, I want you to take Boom-Boom and Bowser away from here. Those heartless Mushroom savages will likely kill them if they stay. Am I making myself clear?"

With a sigh, I told him I would. I then walked over to where Nagiana and the kids were. "I have… er… some very bad news to tell you," I began uneasily.

"We already talked about it, Bronx and I," she sighed, beginning to tear up in the eyes. She looked at me for a moment, the torchlight's interaction with her tears causing her irises to actually sparkle like rubies. She then looked away as if these circumstances were somehow my fault and sobbed softly, saying, "Boom-Boom, go with the nice man." Boom-Boom walked to my side, giving the grin of an innocent, ignorant child.

After an awkward moment of inertia, I let out a deep breath and said more firmly, "Your Majesty, the egg, too." Her head snapped in my direction a look of nigh-disgust on her face, as if she was, yet again, placing the blame of her misery on me. Her eyes shifted towards the floor, and her expression became that of guilt and of lost hope. Silently and gently, she placed the unborn son in my hands and turned away. I let out a depressing sigh of my own, looked down at Boom-Boom, and whispered, "Come, young master. We have a long way to go." Boom-Boom looked perplexed by the whole situation, but he seemed happy to follow when I began heading for the door. As I reached for the door handle, it flung open. The egg went soaring through the air as I was slammed into the wall on the right of the door from the throne's point of view.

Boom-Boom caught the egg with ease as one of our guards shouted, "Bronx, sir, the enemy has penetrated our walls and are pouring in! They'll be here any minu-" The guard was stabbed in the back of the neck by an intruder, and little Toads poured into the room. Most of them had spears, but the one presumed to be their leader carried an impressively long sword for his size. I signaled for Boom-Boom to get behind me, and he did so quickly.

Toadifis Shroomsky… I will never forget that name. Now, he is first in line to become the Princess's steward after that Toadsworth retires, but then he was a mighty warrior. Simply referred to as "Toad" his allies, we mocked him with the name "Poison Shroom". But that was before the night I am recollecting for you now. Toad charged straight for his majesty, swinging that sword of his. Bronx hefted his familiar flail and charged the little demon. Nagiana, her sanity broken, rushed to her husband's aid. Boom-Boom and I watched in horror as Bronx and Nagiana were overwhelmed and slain by their mushroom-crowned nemeses. Boom-Boom handed me the egg, and the two of us moved slowly towards the door, but then Toadifis caught sight of us. We froze as the tiny warrior strolled over to us.

"Hello, turtle," he said mockingly once within sword's length of us. "S-st-stay back!" I stuttered in a poor attempt of defiance.

"Oh?" Toad grinned. He then turned his head back to his troops and shouted sarcastically, "We better be wary of this one, eh!" They all began laughing heartily at this. I wanted to teach that shrimp a lesson then, but I wouldn't endanger the lives of His Majesty's sons.

"I-I mean it!" I warned, scared out of my mind and my wand raised.

"Hey, we ain't lookin' for more trouble," Toad informed me unconvincingly, "but you lost this. Tell your little shell-shocked pals that, by decree of the Mushroom King, you and yer whole lousy Clan get banished to Dark World. Kapeesh?"

"_D-D-Dark World!_" I gasped in horror. Dark World was a place under ground only reachable by the warp pipe system or by traversing jagged cliffs and mountain ranges littered with volcanoes—I always preferred the first option. The few areas of Dark World on the surface were always veiled in eternal night, and the underground portions were always lit by the fires and magma flows that never died out. It was rumored to have a multitude of nightmarish monsters that preyed on all sorts of creatures.

Without a word, Toad and his party stole away into the night, leaving me to give all the bad news to my people…


	2. The Domestication of Dark World

Chapter Two:

The Domestication of Dark World

The people went into an uproar when I delivered the bad news. Of course they did; I saw it coming but went through anyway. The crowd bickered amongst itself, and a few individuals saw it fit to use me as a scapegoat. "It's _his_ fault!" one of my own kindred cried as he pointed a finger at me. "He coulda protected the king and queen, but he didn't do anything, the coward!"

"Yea!" a woman agreed with him.

"We're all gonna die!" another spat out in fear.

"What do we do!" yet another cried out.

"**Quiet!**" I hollered above the crowd's ranting. The enraged mob fell silent at once, and I continued. "Don't you think I _wanted_ to protect them? It was His Majesty's wish, however, that I did not intervene for the sake of his children, and what kind of Koopa would I be if I would deny our king his wishes?" Most of the crowd stared towards the ground in shame, but one in particular, a girl about five years younger than myself, remained stubborn.

She separated herself from her parents, maneuvered to the front of the crowd, and asked me, "Where's the bright side, Mr. Kamek?"

I felt the answer was obvious, so I answered, "Why, the fact that both Prince Boom-Boom and Bowser survived the ordeal, my dear."

"I meant about Dark World," she replied with a surprising firmness.

"Oh," I stammered, "I haven't really given that much thought…" Seeing the crowd's growing uneasiness at my tactlessness, I managed to think up an idea. "Well, look at it this way: We will be _the_ first surface-dwellers ever to tame the lands of Dark World. We will be seen as the ultimate survivors, living in the dangerous (not to mention demoralizing) depths of that hellish place. Why, we may even find resources there no surface-dweller has ever seen or heard of before!" I continued this speech, becoming increasingly excited by such notions myself.

"We still have one more issue to address," an older member of the crowd shouted as he stepped forth.

"Oh?" I wondered. "And what is that?"

"Who will lead us?" he asked all of us.

"Well," I attempted to answer, "Clan law dictates that the next heir to the throne be seated, but Boom-Boom is far too young to succeed his father yet. So, that would mean the next highest on the hierarchy should be declared Regent."

"And who is that?" the little girl asked me.

After an awkward pause, I replied, "I… don't know." I began searching the pockets of my robe for a hierarchy chart, but my search came up empty-handed. I growled to myself then asked the crowd, "Does anyone have a hierarchy chart on his or her person?"

"I do!" a man shouted. He unrolled the piece of paper he was holding and mumbled to himself, "Ok… King, queen, prince, princess… ah ha!" He looked up and announced, "It says here the next in line is the Chief Magikoopa!" At this, most of the crowd stared at me in disbelief as I stared at the crowd in equal disbelief. I tried to argue my way out of it, but the crowd eventually lauded the role of Regent and the care of the true heirs in my hands. Once I was convinced there was no way out of this predicament, I vowed to raise the late king's sons as if they were my own.

The more unfortunate duty, however, was the leadership role. It took some time for me to adjust, but I feel I eventually became a decent leader, though I was nowhere on par with Bronx. Oh, a side note about the crowd incident: that little girl would eventually forget this day, and she will grow up to become the Magikoopa known as Kammy Koopa. Now, back on topic.

Soon the time came for me to lead my people into Dark World. Though the rumors of it being a dark, fire-lit place were true, many of the legends of terrible beasts lurking in the magma-filled depths were, to our benefit, false. Sure, many fascinating creatures—no, they are better described as people—roamed Dark World's caverns and open spaces, but nothing on the level of a threat to the Koopa Clan's existence. Over time and patience, we managed to make alliances with many of the surrounding natives—Thwomps, Buzzy Beetles, etc.—and tamed the local varieties of Piranha Plants. We also found and tamed local Chain-Chomps, but that proved to be more work than expected.

Since then, we developed two new divisions of our army: a collection of our allies, and an elite fighting core known to the public as the "Hammer Brothers". Don't be fooled by the title, however, since they employ several types of weaponry besides hammers. Over time, rather than a division of the army, the Hammer Bros. became a guild of sorts; people used the training to do things other than combat, although warfare is the Hammer Bros. primary objective.

As if things weren't getting better all the time, the little remainder of doubt in the Clan's minds was quelled with the ceremonial hatching of Prince Bowser. Oh, even at birth he had his father's red hair and his mother's ruby eyes. Boom-Boom's relative appearance to the family, however, had to be traced back to his grandparents- Wait! I was talking about Bowser! Please forgive my ramblings. Continuing on, one of the other Magikoopa—this fellow was much older and more experienced than me, I might add—had a vision foreseeing that a child of the Mushroom Kingdom was being returned from a mid-wife via stork to its parents. Supposedly, this child would grow and eventually partake in a battle determining the fate of the world with _King Bowser_. Not only would this child become very powerful, but also there was supposedly no chance that Bowser would have victory.

There were two very large problems with this prophecy. First of all, what were we going to do about this child? I mean, from the prophecy, it seemed as if the only way to best fate was to eliminate the poor thing! Secondly, and more importantly, why did he foresee _Bowser_ as king? Boom-Boom was clearly next in line, and all prophecy variations predicted that Boom-Boom would live almost as long—if not longer—than Bowser himself.

I made the decision, half-heartedly, to personally kidnap and execute the child and its brother—for, supposedly, his brother would play just as important a role in the prophesized conflict—and execute them. It was cold-blooded, I know, but I felt it had to be done…


	3. Rise to Maturity

Chapter Three:

Rise to Maturity

Using my broom, I intercepted the stork in question and claimed the children. I returned triumphantly to the castle only to find that I had only one of the two brothers. Worse yet, it wasn't the so-called chosen child, but the brother. I sensed a mystical link between the brothers that I could not quell, and I feared that, should the other elude me, he would grow up and hunt down his brother. I could not bring myself to kill the one child, so I decided to try and locate the other first; I'd deal with them both after that. Of course, the child just _had_ to wind up on Yoshi Island, the location of the princes' summer home (Did you actually think I would deprive them of sun forever because of some silly decree?). I hired the Shy Guy Guild to bring me the child, I had the troops out there, and I even sent my dedicated Toadies into the fray. Of course, I helped them whenever I could get the chance, mainly at the local forts and castles we places at random locations.

Unfortunately, the child somehow obtained the help of the local Yoshi population, and they were far more formidable than we had predicted. One by one, the fortresses and castles fell as the horde of multicolored reptilians swept through like a plague. They penetrated as far as Prince Bowser's estate when I intervened. The green Yoshi that carried the infant—a child in its own right—was far too slow to hit me, but yet too fast to be hit. It reached Bowser's nursery, where I awaited to do battle with it. Now, way before this, I had made a terrible father figure. I was so busy trying to secure their future; I just spoiled Boom-Boom and Bowser by giving them whatever they asked for. It made things much simpler for me now, but I would eventually learn my mistake…

As for that moment, Bowser was certainly acting like a spoiled brat. My argument with the infiltrating Yoshi had awakened the young master, and that was something that displeased him in the most… displeasing way. After throwing a fit, the prince used his already-tremendous girth to flatten and cast me aside. His rage turned to childlike fascination as he took a liking to the Yoshi. I recall him saying something to the effect of, "What kinda green donkey is that? Looks like fun!" Of course, just learning to speak, he probably mispronounced some of the words. But my amazement at his calmness soon vanished as his greed took over, and the selfish child hurled himself at the Yoshi, dislodging the child so _he_ could ride it.

I felt it was my last chance to nab the infant, so I took flight on my broom towards it. It figures, however, that he was sealed in a bubble of star power. I couldn't breach it in time. Yoshi hurled the prince to the floor and reclaimed the child. Bowser was on the verge of another fit when I used my magic on him. Even though he grew to tremendous size, that pesky Yoshi still managed to defeat him. The stork and the infants were free to continue their mission, and I was forced to take Bowser and Boom-Boom away from that nasty place. I must admit, ever since that incident I've developed an acute Yoshi-phobia.

Somehow, Boom-Boom remained unselfish despite my lack of discipline. Bowser, however, became very spoiled and self-centered. The only trait of personality Boom-Boom and Bowser shared at all was an inherited stubbornness. This stubbornness led into a great deal of sibling rivalry, as well as a great many arguments between the brothers. In fact, Boom-Boom and Bowser became such polar opposites that, in order to claim honor he felt he would never get in the royal family, Boom-Boom abdicated his right to the throne at the age of 13. Bowser was only 10 at the time, and he already knew he would live to be King of the Koopa Clan. He wasn't in the least bit concerned about the two children destined to meet him in battle. Those two boys, who disappeared until Bowser's 21st birthday, grew up to be Mario and Luigi.

Going back to Bowser's adolescence, I noticed quite peculiar things. Officially crowned the Koopa King on his 16th birthday, he had a lot of power in his fingertips. At the request of his generals, Bowser granted large sums of coins towards the military portion of the Koopa Clan. He seemed to think that we needed a large military for some reason. It didn't matter to the people; they were so far off the edge of despair, they were just begging for a reason to fight. Bowser's generous donations to the military gave the Koopa Clan something to hope for—to take their minds off their dull lives—and dream of.

His disinterest in honor, however, turned me off immensely. As the years went by, he became more obsessed with material possessions and his own welfare than that of the Clan's well being. As his foster father, I tried my best to discipline him, but he was far too steeped in his own self to heed. Lacking both the political power and physical might to properly alter his opinion; I gave up on it entirely. I pledged full, unbending allegiance to him. Eventually, I regained a chance to have minor influence over him when, at age 18, I was appointed Royal Vizier. Bowser became a great leader in the fact that he could inspire his people very easily. I personally believe, however, that this gift only comes from his striking similarities to his father, Bronx. Though he lived far more luxuriously than previous kings, the people seemed content for reasons I cannot explain. Morale was at an unusual high; it didn't make any sense at all.

If that weren't strange enough, more gems of the past would come to haunt me. One day, when Bowser was 10 years old, he was vacationing at Yoshi Island—I advised against this, but Bowser was too overjoyed by his brother's abdication to care—for the summer. While napping on the beach, our little tyrant-to-be was confronted by another visitor to the island: one Peach Toadstool by name. She was the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, as could plainly be seen by her crown and her lavish pink dress, and she seemed to be able to tell young Bowser was a Koopa. Yet, she confronted him. I remember watching from the trees, awaiting the possible scenario of my intervention. Here is, to the best of my memory, what occurred that day.

She lightly tapped his sleepy head and awaited a response. His body twitched at the touch of her gloved hand, and he awoke calmly from his slumber. She bent over to even her gaze with his and greeted him with a, "Hi, there!"

Bowser gave a deep yawn, sat up, and said, "Hello." Peach sat down as well, though it threw off the evenness of their eye level. The two stared at each other for a few seconds, then he asked, "What's your name?"

"Peach Toadstool," she answered with a giddy smile. "And you?"

Trying to act tough, he puffed out his chest and told her in a tough-guy voice, "I'm Bowser Koopa, prince of the Koopa Clan." Hearing this, I slapped my forehead.

"He's already said too much," I whispered to myself.

"I'm the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom," she seemed thrilled to inform him. At this point, I was frightened. If the Mushroom Kingdom found out about this, they'd descend upon us like a swarm of locusts! This childlike conversation continued for an hour while I looked about nervously for any sign of other Mushroom citizens. At the end of it, though, I heard a shout.

"Peach!" it hollered. "Princess Peach!"

"Coming!" Peach shouted in response. She then turned to Bowser and said, "If they see us, they'll run you out of the kingdom! Let's meet again sometime!"

"Okay," Bowser agreed uneasily. Princess Peach nodded for a farewell and ran off in the direction of the voice.

Ever since, Bowser seemed to develop an obsession with the Mushroom Kingdom and its inhabitants. Especially Princess Peach.


End file.
